


It’s Quiet Uptown

by Anonymous



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Lemon-Stealing Whores (Short Film)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9653570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Eliza and Alexander were relaxing in the backyard, until they received an unexpected guest.





	

It was a beautiful, sunshiney day. Alexander and Eliza were out in their garden observing their plants. “I’m so glad… I’m so glad our lemon tree finally grew.” Alexander said, looking at the beautiful lemon tree. The tree was so beautiful, almost, if not more, beautiful than his wife.

“Me too.” Eliza smiled. 

“And sprouted fruitful lemony lemons.”

“I know. I mean, me too. Imagine, we could make lemonade, key lemon pie, lemon meringue pie-” Eliza said, with a wistful look in her eyes. She liked imagining all the desserts, which would be almost, if not more, delicious than her husband.

Alexander grinned. “I think it’s the most valuable property that we have.”

“I do agree. I think we should go to the bank and get a loan. Actually, I think we should just get lemon tree insurance.”

“I think you’re right.” 

“And then get a loan and use the lemon tree as collateral because it is now insured. I truly do love our lemon tree.”

“Just imagine a life full of lemon trees.” Eliza said, looking into her husband’s eyes. 

“I know, and all, and all our beautiful lemons-”

“Endless possibilities.” 

“Endless possibilities, they’re so beautiful.” They signed in unison. 

“I wish I was a lemon.” Eliza leaned her head back, resting it on her husband's shoulder. He pressed his lips to her forehead and smiled. “You wish you were a lemon? If you were a lemon, I would put you on my shelf and cherish you like I cherish all our lemons.” 

The couple had a tendency for the sentimental: they had, on occasion, left many lemons out to rot because they deemed them too beautiful to eat.

She flushed gracefully.“That’s so beautiful.” 

“I try.” He said, smirking. His eyes flashed cunningly.

Eliza’s brow furrowed and her lips pulled into a pout. “I only hope that the whores aren’t stealing our lemons. You know, those naughty whores always stealing lemons.” Unbeknownst to them, there was in fact a whore stealing their lemons. The whore, Maria, had a mean husband/pimp who instructed her to collect the lemons to sell on the dark lemon market, for they were a bit down on their luck. She snuck glances towards the couple as she shoved the beautiful lemons down her red one piece bathing suit.

“We do have a couple lemon whores in this… in this community…” Alexander admitted, remembering the horrors of his youth. In Nevis, there were hundreds of lemon whores. New York was weak by comparison.

Eliza squeezed her husband's hand on her knee. “Those damn lemon stealing whores!”

Alexander’s eyes glinted with lemon-love. “Hate them. Cause no one will take our prized lemons from us.”

“Hey, has it been about ten seconds since we’ve looked at our lemon tree?” Eliza asked, noticing she was too engrossed in her husband’s eyes to even glance anywhere else. 

“It has been about ten seconds since we’ve looked at our lemon tree.” Alexander nodded.

Eliza turned her head at the affirmation. “Gosh.” She paused, her tone quickly changing. “Hey!” She yelled, seeing Ms.Reynolds with five lemons stuffed down her bathing suit.

Alexander’s spine straightened as he yelled. “Hey what the fuck!”

Maria, hearing the exclamations, hobbled as fast as she could out of their yard. Alexander and Eliza were a bit too startled to catch up with her.

Alexander smacked his fist against the ground in outrage, tears forming in his eyes.

“It’s quiet uptown.” Eliza said sadly with a sad face, thinking about the loss of her lemons. “At least, it’s supposed to be.”

**Author's Note:**

> we're so sorry  
> our inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5mI407Uks4


End file.
